Stewart visited Stern to promote the one-year anniversary of her own Sirius Satellite show, and the seemingly opposite pair got along so well during their 40-minute talk that, by interview's end, each promised to have the other over for dinner.
Stewart answered every question Stern dared to ask, with a candor and sassy sense of humor she's rarely shown. Naturally, quite a few of Stern's questions revolved around her sex life -- and Stewart was more than game to reply.
While she never had lesbian sex in prison, Stewart admitted she saw many beautiful women there -- and that she'd witnessed several female inmates involved in sexual relations. Well, sort of. "So you never saw two girls getting it on in front of you?" asked Stern. "Oh yes," replied Stewart. "Not naked girls, but I saw them in the dark. They had trysts behind the buildings and the doorways."
According to Martha, the butch women liked her the most.
"Some girls that looked like boys were actually the ones who would come on to me," Stewart said.
"If they asked me for lunch and they were interesting, I would have lunch with them. There were girls with mustaches, and there were girls with beards. And they shaved ... I would be walking down the little road outside the prison [and I'd ask myself] 'How'd that boy get in here?' when it was actually a girl."
And "doing lunch" is definitely the right phrase. When asked how these women would hit on her, Stewart said they always wanted to talk shop. "First they'd ask about business, because they all had business plans. Some of the women who were there for 10, 20 years, they had developed business plans. They'd taken business courses in the prison."
Stern also tried to get Stewart to admit to saying she masturbated while in prison, but she didn't take the bait. "You know what? Five months is a short time," she shot back -- but then told Stern she had sex the day after her release. "My boyfriend picked me up [from prison], he took me home, he was very ... you know." "And then you immediately jumped him?" asked Stern. "No, he jumped me," laughed Stewart.
Stewart also revealed she was a big fan of the Thumper vibrator, raving about the $1,200 version because of its wide variety of heads. (She never admitted to using it sexually, claiming the "wonderful tool" is great for basic massaging.)
As for her dating life, Stewart said that even though she's in a relationship, she's always open to going on dates with interesting men -- but said she rarely gets asked out.
Then she hit Stern with another fascinating revelation, going into great detail about why she had to stop dating Sir Anthony Hopkins.
"Oh, I loved him," she said. "But he was scary. I was going to invite him up to Maine because I have a beautiful house. But then I revisited, because I saw that movie 'Hannibal' again. I just couldn't get past the Hannibal Lecter thing: 'Do you want me to eat your brain while I'm sitting in your beautiful dining room?'" (Stern shared a similar story about getting hit on by Linda Blair, but he couldn't get past "The Exorcist" thing.)
And the spicy stories kept coming: When asked about plastic surgery (she hasn't had any), she brought up her breasts. "My boobs got bigger, and I hate it. I hate it," she said. "I was nice and flat-chested for a long time and then, you know." (Howard incorrectly guessed she was a D-cup. She's a C.)
Stewart was flinging zingers even as she left the studio. When Stern told Stewart not to wear panties next time she came in, she calmly informed him she gone "commando" during the entire interview. "No, I have no underwear on," she said, and then flung out her devastating exit line, "And I find bras restricting."
By Jenny Stewart
Originally Published 2008, PlanetOut.com, Gay.com